Online community members back employee for refusing to give vacation days to their coworker for her honeymoon: 'She wasn't happy and told me I was being selfish'

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    AITAH for refusing to give up my vacation days so my coworker can go on her honeymoon? I work at a small company where vacation time is pretty limited, and we have to request it months in advance. I put in my request almost a year ago to take a two- week vacation during the holidays. My plan was to visit family, who live out of the country, something I only get to do once every few years.
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    Recently, a coworker of mine, who's getting married, came up to me and asked if I'd be willing to give up my vacation days so she could go on her honeymoon. She apparently didn't realize how quickly the days would fill up and waited too long to request her time off. Now, the only way she can go is if someone cancels, and since I have one of the longest vacation blocks, she came to me first. I told her I was really sorry,
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    but I can't give up my time. This trip means a lot to me, and it's the only time I can see my family this year. She wasn't happy and told me I was being selfish for not accommodating her "once-in-a- lifetime" event. Now, a few other coworkers are chiming in, suggesting I could be more flexible since I don't have "special circumstances" like a wedding.
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    I feel bad, but I also planned this trip far in advance, and it's important to me. AITA for not giving up my vacation so she can go on her honeymoon?
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    Spoopyowo 2h ago NTA, I am assuming she planned her wedding for a while, it's not your problem that she didn't think ahead. Enjoy your vacation!!
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    peakpenguins NTA, it's not your fault she waited so long to request. the time off, and seeing your family is not less important than her honeymoon. If people don't back off I wouldn't be afraid to pull some I like "I have to go, my grandma is dying!" and watch them all feel real awkward. lol
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    clearheaded01 · 1h ago NTA . Apparently her own honeymoon was not important enough to secure time off for it.
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    Now, a few other coworkers are chiming in, suggesting I could be more flexible since I don't have "special circumstances" like a wedding Let them.give up.on their vacation, then...
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    Own-Whereas-... . 2h ago. Absolutely NOT. NTA, I repeat, NTA!! And the peanut gallery coworkers you have need to hush. You aren't selfish for taking the time that you put in well in advance. People make me sick she can reschedule their honeymoon trip, it doesn't HAVE to be right after the wedding.
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    srkaficionada65 • 2h ago. You're NTA but my petty behind would totally cancel my vacation IF and WHEN she pays me the equivalent of the greater of the PTO hours OR the cost of my travel and she'd have to pay it upfront. If she has money to plan a wedding and go on a honeymoon, she can pay me for inconveniencing me. I bet if you proposed something similar, she'd freaking back off.
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    Unpleasant_Ad... • 2h ago NTA, the wedding and honeymoon should also have been planned well in advance.
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    Amazing_Realit... • • 2h ago. NTA You are not being selfish. Her poor planning. does not constitute an emergency for you. She should have planned better and put in for the time off as soon as she could. Now she's got to deal with the consequences of her procrastination.
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    If she or your other coworkers keep giving you a bad time about this, take it to HR or your boss. It's not ok for them to be pressuring you and guilt tripping you about this. They're bullying. you and creating a hostile work environment.
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    stargazerr779 • 16m ago. NTA. You planned your vacation well in advance, and it's a rare opportunity for you to see your family, especially if they live out of the country. Your coworker's failure to plan ahead doesn't obligate you to sacrifice your own plans, no matter how "special" her circumstances may seem to
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    others. A wedding and honeymoon are important, but so is your time with family. You're not being selfish for sticking to your plans—if anything, it sounds. like your coworker should've been more proactive about securing her time off. It's not your responsibility to fix that.
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    shammy_dammy • 1h ago NTA. She failed to adequately plan. That's on her. Sounds like your coworkers are volunteering, though
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    OkCopy8361 1h ago. NTA. She's being entitled. Your trip is something you planned a year ahead and something you get to do only once every few years. You're not chilling out twiddling your thumbs on your porch burning your PTO. Enjoy your holiday!

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